Process Writing: The Antiguan Way

 Process writing is a method in which the author uses steps to guide the reader as to what to do. Today I will show two examples of process writing. Example 1: how to catch the bus and Example two: How to get KFC.

Example 1: How to catch the bus.

Step 1: While at home you must first determine where you want to go. Buses in Antigua are either going towards town or away from town. With the decision you will then know which side of the road to stand to catch the bus. 

Step 2: Go to your desired side of the road. If you are going away from town, then the bus will be going in the opposite direction of town. If you are going to town, then you must stand in the direction that leads towards town.

Step 3: Stand under a tree, lamppost, fence, shed, or bus stop. Anywhere where a bus man is able to see you. There are no bus women in Antigua. 

Step 4: Wait 45 minutes to 1 hour as the buses in Antigua take long to come. If you do not feel like you have been waiting a century then you are not doing it right.

Step 5: Once the bus arrives, if the very front seat is available, sit there. If not sit in a single seat or a seat away from the door, if not as people leave the bus you will become a door man. 

Step 6:  Make sure when you are closing in on your destination that you pay attention because bus men drive fast and sometimes crazy. 

Step 7: When you reach to where you want to be release yell "BUS STOP!". Make sure that you shout it or else you risk the possibility of the driver not hearing you and zooming past. 

Step 8: Step out the bus and hand the bus man his money. 

Step 9: If you are feeling nice close the door, if you rather be petty, turn away from the bus with the door open and do not look back. 

And with that... that is how you catch the bus in Antigua. 

Example 2: How to get KFC 

Step 1: Let the thought of delicious Kentucky Fried Chicken come into your mind and invade all your sense and sensibilities. 

Step 2: Rush out of the house in your home clothes and drive to your favorite KFC. 

Step 3: When you are nearing your destination, you must first cut your eye and chupz at the fact that the line is all the way down the road. 

Step 4: While joining the line say the sentence, " Antiguans love too much ah KFC." 

Step 5: Move you vehicle at snail pace or not at all and turn your music up as you try to distract yourself so that you don't get annoyed at the slow moving line. 

Step 6: Say the sentence, "The workers ah KFC work too blinking slow" while analyzing the line behind you. 

Step 7: Drive along until you reach the speaker. 

Step 8: Tell the lady what your want. The person to take the order is never a man.

Step 9: Chupz again at the fact that you just ordered and the line infront of you still has not moved. 

Step 10: Watch the people in the vehicle by the window and say " wah dem dey buy so, the whole a kfc? wa can tek so long?"

Step 11: As you turn gets closer continue to analyze the scene. 

Step 12: When you reach to the window, even though you already know the cost of your purchase only look for your money just then.

Step 13: Look for exact money, if not give them a $20, $50 or your debit card if you're feeling nice. 

Step 14: Once you get your KFC drive off while opening the box.

Step 15: While driving back home, start to eat the kfc.

Step 16: As you eat make sure you end off by saying, " wooooo nice and hot, worth the wait. Antigua have the best KFC in the world boss. Me go sleep good tonight."